~Farewell to Glacier Center...Bartender ~

Today Glacier Center for Families closes it's doors. Such a sad day for us that started it and those that have worked here and those that have been helped over the past 7 years. Glacier Center for Families was founded by myself and my goodest friend, Christina Ryan. In 2006, we both moved on from working for a different agency and decided that we would forge ahead together and delve into working with people that were finding themselves in the midst of 'forced sobriety'. Most of the people that came through the doors were living lives that were out of control and unmanageable....and they were parents. Our mission was "Supporting families in crisis by providing Parenting Education & Substance Abuse Accountability in a safe, dignified environment.”

We started the agency with $700 between us, getting donated furniture and computers and getting training to be certified to provide testing. And we tested so many people. We collected more than 15,000 specimens over the years. From urine samples, to hair tests, to breathalzyer events and to sweat patches. Over the years, the team members changed. Christina moved on to bigger and better things, but always supported our little community service. Nikki stepped in and was the heart and soul of the ship when I got the call to work for Intermountain. My husband and all my children, at some point, laid hands on doing something for Glacier Center - from cleaning the office, to painting walls, to submitting the billing, to doing the daily testing and going into homes with social workers and the police for emergency testing.

During this time we fought thru many drug trends. From the days of much meth in the Valley - to the days of too many pills going around - to the days of EVERYONE having a medical marijuana card - and now back to the days of much meth and adding a side of heroin...all this, walking in to be tested in bodies that were never meant to experience these drugs. And not it isn't just adults - but also young children caught in the cross fire of a drug war that wages behind ugly doors and in shaded areas that people don't look too closely into.

Glacier Center for Families was blessed by God many times by the generosity of many people and was a blessing to many vulnerable, broken people. What I'm most grateful for is the success stories that came out of these past 7 years. The mom that was deathly sick from using meth, lost custody of her daughter and then worked so hard to regain her life, sobriety, child and found God again. The man that got lost in the world of drugs, alcohol, crime and used our 'blueprint' to rebuild his life and family and livelihood to be a law-abiding businessman, husband and father. Glacier Center for Families was a little agency that provided specific services to a specific population of people for a specific time. Now it's time to move on.

The song profiled on here is 'Bartender' by Rehab. This was our signature song. This guy and his wife walked through our doors everyday. They were off the hook, disorganized, vulnerable, confused, running from the law, blaming everyone else, lovable, infuriating, witty and wanting to undo some bad stuff from their past. Love this song.

I've been listening to alot of the Stones recently. Funny how so many of their song titles fit our days at Glacier Center: From a parent walking in saying its 'The Last Time' they will use , to coming in the next day, still high and telling us 'It's All Over Now', to the next time coming in high yelling at us saying 'Get Off Of My Cloud'. Then soon comes the '19th Nervous Breakdown' and us saying that 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' - with them barking back but 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' from living a drug free life. To them finally surrending that their life is out of control and they realize that they have been a 'Beast Of Burden' to their families and the legal system and they have 'Shattered' so many hearts and dreams they begin to work to live a 'Respectable' life. I think the Stones did a lot of drugs to come up with all the song titles they did.

So closes this chapter for me and Glacier Center for Families. In the end - all I have done is for God's Glory. All my time, energy, effort was for Him anyway and the rest is just the earthly benefit for this season. "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

Critical Thinking At A Critical Time

Even though September 11 was over a week ago, I continue to remember the impact of that day 11 years ago and then what I perceive as the minimal attention to that day last week.

"And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon." Revelation 9:11

Abaddon means "destruction" and Apollyon means "destroyer." A destroying spirit has deceived mankind. Because man is deceived, he does not realize that he has been the dupe of a destroying spirit.

Mankind, with these awesome powers and intellect, uses them to destroy, to maim, to sear, to rape, to exploit. It happens on a massive scale. It also happens in individual relationships with one another.

This destroying, deceiving spirit, through his minions, the demons, is able to deal with us on an individual basis. He can deceive us into using our powers to go counter to what God intended, to what God instructed all the way back in the Garden of Eden.

I think back to the following years of the movies and TV specials on the events of 9/11 and how they all were meant to instruct, enlighten and strike a tender patriotic cord in us. These movies were not meant to entertain - as there was nothing entertaining about that day - or the days that followed.

One of the most searing memories I have is the end of the movie about the plane that went down in the Pennsylvania field, the people in the plane bent over awaiting impact, praying aloud to God and the terrorists pilots in the cockpit praying aloud to their God, as they were going down. There was this split screen that showed both groups of people praying fervently and passionately to the God that they served, loved, believed in.

As we have a enter into our presidential election home stretch, I'm concerned about the weakness that our country will experience during election time. This always seems to be when other countries are watching us the closest. We currently have much unrest regarding our country, our embassies and lack of power and control being present around our Americans abroad.

There are people who think that they are 'serving' their God and are deceived in their hearts and minds to hurt and destroy Americans - both here in America and on foreign soil.

Our country and those that serve to protect it are vulnerable. We (Flathead Community) have a National Guard Unit (over 70 people) deploying to Afghanistan on November 4th. Our Presidential Election is November 6th, in 47 days. These are our people, our co-workers, husbands and fathers and wives and mothers going over to Afghanistan at the most concerning of time.

Please continue to pray during this time for our country, those preparing to lead our country and those serving our country to ensure our safety, freedom and future.

T-Minus 7 Days

Sunday 5/6/2012

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow."

~ James 1:2-3, NLT

Everyday I get a scripture sent to my email. I read them everyday, many days they are spot on as far as speaking to my life at that moment, some days, not so much.

Right now, everything seems to speaking to my life. Whether it's about family, children, spiritual walk, work, whatever, life is in a constant state of change/compromise/challenges right now.

But nothing comes close to getting ready to send my son off to the Marines. Crazy, even when I write this - my chest tightens.

What was it like for families back when there was the draft? When families, sons, husbands didn't have the luxury of opting out or not ever considering entering the military in the first place? I keep these thoughts in perspective because it helps normalize what my family is going through right now.

The date is on the horizon for Jesse to leave. The reality of this event is that I can't change it, we can't go around it, we have to walk through it as a family together.

I have many well wishers and pray warriors and supporters during this time. I'm very grateful for them. When the topic of Jesse leaving comes up - I never fully say what I'm thinking and feeling. But for the record, this isn't just about me and Jesse, mother and son. It's about Jesse and Jasmine, husband and wife. It's about Gordy and Jesse, father and son. It's about my other 7 children and Jesse and the gaping hole that will be felt when he isn't available to them for playing music, jokes, games, pranks, playing games...A new wrinkle with Jesse is that Aaron will now have to share the importance of November 11th (Aaron's birthday with Jesse now, as it's also Veteran's Day).

So there it is; the serious countdown is on; T-minus 7 days.

Blessed Clucking

A long few weeks, led to an early night to bed. ONLY to wake up too early and not be able to go back to sleep. I thought about blogging about something - then thought better of it, sometimes 4 a.m. blogs are NOT a good idea. I cruised thru my old abandoned myspace and re-read old blogs from there. This one seems to be the most fitting - from then to the present:

Oct 15, 2008
Enough already...
Current mood:blessed

Life has been extremely busy lately. Some people have been very helpful and then some have been standing on the sidelines clucking their tongues about 'whether or not I can handle it all '- 'or always making comments to me about having too much on my plate' or whatever...those are not what I would consider encouraging or supportive statements - in fact - I find myself - dismissing them and their comments from my day...I can't attend to that type of negativity right now.

If anyone truly knows me and supports me as a woman, wife, mom, friend - they would take the time to say to me - 'I am praying for you', 'I thought about you today and wanted to let you know' - 'that even though you are too busy - I understand'.

I learned a long time ago - that I do not lead my life - God does. When I handed my life over to Him and I believe that He loves me - more than anything. More than a fat kid loves cake...

He told me - "it's you and me kid - some things are gonna hurt - but it will be good for you - growing is painful sometimes - that is why they call them 'growing pains' but through it all, all will be done to glorify Jesus - not Berni, get used to it."

Then God promised me a life filled with hope, happiness and wealth.

Not wealth like lots of green money and financial freedom - but wealth in the ownership of viewing a wonderful sunrise - for free; wealth in the abundance of many babies (that turn into wonderful adults) that I get to love daily; wealth in the enjoyment of friendships - some for a lifetime and some for a season.

And then the most awesome gift of all - a hope in life everlasting...I start my day - in God's presence - sometimes it is a nice long conversation - sometimes - it's just a check in - like today's texting.

Today - I rec'd this daily devotional from Greg Laurie - his walk and talk with Jesus - really ministers to me - especially when others are not seeking to be supportive or encouraging.

I want to share pieces of it...maybe then some can understand that I'm not overwhelmed to the point of not being effective as a woman, wife, mom, friend - but I am fully seeking to do His Will - even when the days are long - and nights are short - and conversations with others are even shorter.All I do - is for Him - from raising my babies; to the work I do....

The Search for GodNo one has real understanding; no one is seeking God. — Romans 3:11

Often we hear people say, "I'm on a spiritual journey. I am trying to find the truth. I am trying to find the light. I am trying to find God. I'm searching for God." Yet the Bible says that no one is really searching for God.

You would think that with all the religious belief systems in the world, this could simply not be. Yet God plainly declares in His Word, "If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me" (Jeremiah 29:13).

Let me be blunt: If you are seeking God, then you will find your way to Jesus Christ. And if you don't find your way to Jesus Christ, then you are not seeking God. You might be playing religious games. You might be dabbling with various belief systems. But the true seeker will find the true God, and those who claim to be true seekers yet reject Jesus Christ are not being honest with God or with themselves.

Religion is humanity's search for God. But Christianity is God's search for humanity.

I have heard people say, "I found the Lord 10 years ago," as though God had been lost. But God wasn't lost; we were. God is seeking to save us, and if we really want to know Him, then we will find Him. People do not come to Jesus Christ because they bristle at the thought of being sinful. They are unwilling to accept God's assessment of them. They are unwilling to acknowledge their guilt. That just bothers them.

Instead, they want to believe they can get to heaven by their own merit, by their goodness, and by their own deeds. But the Bible says that simply isn't so. ~GREG LAURIE~

Love people, use things..not vice versa ~

There is a saying that one should 'love people and use things, not love things and use people'.

I think about this everytime I see a human advertisement. Like a person that is standing on a busy street corner with a sign for a business that has a sale, close out, open house, whatever. I have a HUGE aversion to using people in this manner. I just think that it is so demeaning to have a person stand on a corner as an advertisement.

Isn't that almost like what a prostitute does?

Fresh Life Billings

Praying this morning for the launch of Fresh Life Billings. People that I care for that lived/live here in Kalispell, in Billings to set up and reach out to people. People that I care for that live in Billings - that they will venture into Billings West High to 'see what it is all about'. And then praying that they will learn that it is all about them and their relationship with Jesus.

This is the day that the Lord has made - let us rejoice and be glad in it ~

Saturday Night Fights...at the McDonalds

There was a time that Saturday was fight night at the McDonald house. It was the time when much food was made (usually Gordy's goulash), snacks, soda and games or movies for the kids.

Today, I called to do the auto pay on the phone for our DISH network and one of the first prompts was 'press 1' for the Paquiao vs Marquez fight for tonight....for $60. Yes, I pressed 1. So it was going to be Gordy and I and I invited Jesse and Joe.

Then Gordy got some calls that some men are ill tonight and he was needed at church. That meant that Jesse went to drug test, and Joe is working until 10.

So here I sit - watching $60 of boxing, by myself, while Kimmie is in the other room watching the premiere of the latest Narnia movie on HBO. Yes, me and a small bowl of chips and salsa and a Coca-Cola...Good times, good times.